Category: worry

Vocabulary and Communication

.Reading time 7 minutes.

There are two seasons in Montana: winter and road construction. It’s not winter anymore, which means it’s currently road construction season.

This year, one of the main thoroughfares right in our little residential neighborhood has been under construction for several weeks.

It’s fine, except that my habit of taking this road is so strong that I am always headed that direction before I remember it’s closed. Last week, one of the kids was in the car with me as we set off:

“Hey, mom, the road by the waterpark is closed, remember?”

“Oh, right,” I slow to turn around.

“But, we when went to the waterpark Tuesday, Sarah’s mom went this way. You can turn by the turkey trail and drive by the houses.”

“Huh?” My family calls a little walking/bike path in town “the turkey trail.” The “turkey trail” begins at a road, but then meanders through a bit of a wooded area, next to a gully where there is no driveable road. Also, our entire neighborhood is residential, meaning: all there is is houses.

“Which way did you go?”

“Drive by.the.houses. Don’t turn around! We can go if we drive by. The. Houses. The HOUSES, mom!”

“Look, around you! There are houses everywhere!”

“THE HOUSES, MOM!”

I ignored the child and we took the detour road I knew would surely get us around the road construction. My child was unhappy that I did not act upon their suggested directions, but I couldn’t. I literally did not know which street they were talking about.

Too often, communication is like this. We know what we mean, but we don’t have the right vocabulary to actually convey that meaning to the person across from us. Worse yet, even when we know what we mean and do our best to convey it with the vocabulary we have, the words get twisted in the air and lodge themselves sideways in the recipient’s heart.

Sometimes, while we think we know what we mean, we actually don’t.

I was reading the account of Adam and Eve the other day for Bible study. Genesis 3 says, “The man and his wife were naked and they felt no shame.” This is literal, I believe. But I’ve begun to realize that it is deeper than literal.

Adam and Eve were fully known by God.

They were also fully known by each other. I am not just talking physically. I am talking, their deepest desires, dreams and beings were plainly visible to each other and their core self was fully accepted by one another.

What must it have been like, to never experience the frustration of miscommunication? To never use a series of words and immediately know that the person has not actually received what you meant? To be able to truly understand and be understood without work, without something going awry?

After they ate the fruit, they felt fear, shame and hurt. They literally ran and hid from God. They also hid from each other, covering themselves. Then they lied and blamed one another.

We all do that now, don’t we? Our human condition makes it inevitable that we experience a variety of pains. Both physical and deeper, emotional and spiritual pains. We spend a good portion of our lives creating ways to cover up our deepest desires to protect ourselves from these hurts, navigating who we can trust with what parts of ourselves (if we are courageous enough to keep trying), telling ourselves and others falsehoods and blaming others for things we ourselves have contributed to.

God’s heart was filled with pain in the Garden. One of the crowning achievements of His loving, brilliant, good and beautiful creative work had chosen to sever their intimate relationship with Him. We turned to walk down a dark path filled with confusion, violence and hurt. He could see it all, the terrible things, the innocence injured, the way even something simple like driving to the store will highlight our inability to really communicate with each other. He saw it all, and what was His response?

Knowing the fiery judgments of God recorded later in the Bible, I expect His immediate response to be: “do you have any idea what you have done!?! Do you know what this means?!?” I respond this way, when I am hurt and the consequences for someone’s foolish decision is permanent and awful. I expect the curses and consequences to be Jesus’ immediate reaction.

But Jesus — who knows all things — walked through the Garden in the pleasant cool of the day, knowing what it all meant, and called out, “Adam, where are you?”

He still calls out. He walks through this unpleasant and sad world and calls to each one of us, “where are you?”

The lyrics of a Steffany Gretzinger song capture this poignantly:

Come out of hiding, you’re safe here with me;

There’s no need to cover what I already see;

No need frightened by intimacy;

Just throw off your fear and come running to me.

We don’t have the perfect vocabulary to respond to Jesus. We don’t know ourselves well enough to come fully out of hiding. God must teach us — through His word, the Bible and in community with other Christians — but as we take our tentative steps, He moves closer. Jesus does not misunderstand us, even when we do not have the perfect words to tell Him where we think we should go around the detour.

Let’s come out of hiding, friend. We are safe here with Him.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-24).

Worried … Still

.Reading time 3 minutes.

At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head.  Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked will I depart.  The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.’ (Job 1:20).  Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter.  If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king.  But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”  (Daniel 3:16-18).  Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him. (Job 13:15). Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.  (Romans 5: 3-5).  Set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.  (1 Peter 1:13, emphasis added).  Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.  This is what the ancients were commended for.  (Hebr. 11:1-2).  Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.  Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. … Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.  (Hebr. 12:1-3, emphasis added).

Have I mentioned, I’m worried?  I try not to be frightened and anxious, but I lose perspective so easily.  Some things here on earth seem so big and important.  If you, like me, are worried — if you fear for the future.  That things might get hard.  If you fear for others — perhaps those in your care, I pray that the reminders above would be concrete, piercing reminders and encouragement to stand firm.  Stand firm, friends, fixing your eyes on Jesus Christ.

Anxiety

.Reading time 5 minutes.

I had the misfortune of listening to much of the second presidential debate on Sunday.  Although Kagan keeps abreast of current affairs, I diligently avoid them.  I was sickened, distraught and angry. Then, worried.  (I literally had visions of myself and our family trying to find food, shelter and warmth in the middle of winter in a post nuclear blast landscape.  My babies!  I’m not equipped to take care of my babies in a post-apocalyptic world!).

In short, I became burdened by the state of affairs of our country.  Not only by the national spectacle that is the race for President, but also by the moral degradation that has gotten us here.  In talking with a friend, I realized what I’d been doing.  I’d been taking the burden of national affairs upon my shoulders.  So, I surrendered it back to God.  I realize how silly that sounds.  I, Becky, have no responsibility for the behavior of the presidential hopefuls.  I have no control over who wins or loses (yes, I will vote, but really, out here with our meager college electoral votes, we don’t count).  But, I was taking responsibility for it.  Ownership of it. 
Over the last few days, the Holy Spirit has been reminding me of how worry is really a symptom of pride in my life.  Arrogance that I can change something by worrying.  Too, He reminds me, worry is lack of faith.  Lack of trust in God.  
He has been reminding me to do what I can and have faith that He will take care of the rest.  And He is good.  So, friend, I offer these beautiful verses as a reminder of who has called you and the living hope that He gives despite the situation you may be facing.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.  (Matt. 11:28-30).  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  Since you cannot do this very little thing,s why do you worry about the rest? Consider how the lilies grow.  They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the filed, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!  (Luke 12:25, 28).  We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.  (2 Cor. 10:5).  Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!  In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade – (1 Peter 1:3-4) – Therefore, prepare your minds for action: be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.  (1 Peter 1:13) For you know that is was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.  He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake.  Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God.  (1 Peter 1:18-21).  And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who are called according to His purpose.  (Romans 8:28).